Gossiping Like No One's Near... (Shiny/OPEN)

[I*C*E*Y]

Bluewind wasn't a gossiper. Heck, she despised anything that had to do with other cats- especially digging into their personal lives. It wasn't like she wasn't curious, or that she didn't want to know, she did, but she knew what it was like to have personal boundaries overstepped.

However, Rainpetal did not.

She loved talking. Yes, to those who knew her, and knew her well- even if they didn't know her, or if they'd only known her for at least thirty seconds would know that she loved filling the empty, quiet space with the sound of her voice, rambling continuously and telling everyone her thoughts without even another thought of a filter. She enjoyed gossip much more than she ever let on, and she loved using her superb hearing skills to listen in on conversations she shouldn't have in the first place.

But today, Rainpetal WANTED to be the source of all the gossip. She and Flarespark were pregnant. She wanted to announce it in front of the entire clan, see the look on every jealous (and single) female's face that Flarespark was hers forever (she knew that many a cat liked him, with the exception of Bluewind, of course) and that she was going to have kits and shove it all up in their face.

Bluewind yawned, stretching her limbs as she opened her beautiful blue eyes dazedly. Immediately, she sought the pelt of her mate, but didn't see him around. Of course, she thought. He was the deputy, and so he had duties. She had overslept. A girlish thought consumed her, Ripplestream loved her. He loved her!

She had to tell her sister.

When she stepped out into the sunlight, she saw Ripplestream organizing patrols for the day. Ducking out of his sight, so she wouldn't distract him (her pelt was very obvious in the traditional gray/brown/black/white ratio in RiverClan) she didn't watch where she was going, and literally ran into her sister. "Hey!" Bluewind meowed, her ears flattening against her head in an apology.

"Hey yourself." Rainpetal purred. "Today's a great day, isn't it?"

Bluewind raised a furry eyebrow. "If you say so."

"It is great. It is lovely. It is..." Rainpetal noticed her own mate, Flarespark, as she looked around camp. "What is he doing?"

[shiningheart]

Rainpetal had reason to question the sanity of her mate. He was standing. Not on his hind paws, or even his front paws. For all intents and purpose, Flarespark was trying to stand... on his head. He wobbled a little with his forepaws on the ground, trying his very best to not fall over. With his tongue sticking out in concentration, he padded forward a single step and fell over. "Fox-dung!" he cursed while rubbing the new bump on his head.

Ripplestream glanced over at him in time to see his little act and paused in mid-sentence. He stared at his friend with wide eyes before shaking his head and looking over to his mate and her sister, who also happened to be Flarespark's mate. "Out of an intense curiosity, Rainpetal, do you happen to know if he was hit on his head as a kit?" he questioned loudly, flicking his tail towards the ginger tabby.

[I*C*E*Y]

Rainpetal shot Ripplestream a stiff glare. Today of all days, she wasn't going to question Flarespark's... ideas. No matter how many times he did something stupid or reckless, she still loved him, and she wasn't going to let the love for him fade on this particular day. "Not that I know of," She replied smoothly. "All I know is that he nearly swallowed a stinkbug as an apprentice."

Bluewind felt her face flush slightly when Ripplestream looked over at them. "But of course, we'd be right to wonder about his sanity?" She asked her sister. "Because I've seen Twolegs do that sort of thing before. I think they call it a handstand, maybe? Either way, no cat has been able to accomplish it, and from what I could tell in my time as an alley cat, no Twoleg could ever do it justice either."

[shiningheart]

Ripplestream blinked in surprise when Rainpetal glared at him stiffly. What was that about? It wasn't the first time he'd questioned Flarespark's sanity, and it sure wouldn't be the last. Even she had taken some shots at Flarespark in the past. What changed that? He dismissed his gathered Clanmates who were still waiting with a flick of his tail.

Flarespark grumbled to himself and tried to stand on his front paws again. This time he did make it a step, but was unable to take a second one without toppling over. "Screw it! I give up!" he spat before padding towards the two she-cats. He nuzzled Rainpetal lovingly and flicked his tail to Bluewind in greeting. "And what are you two ladies doing?"

Ripplestream approached them with a twitch of his ear. "I'm taking shots at your sanity, Rainpetal is glaring angrily at me for taking said shots at you, and Bluewind is refusing to look at me in embarassment. What are you doing?"

Flarespark raised an eyebrow at him and meowed, "Are you a lady?" Ripplestream smirked and shhok his head. "Then shaddap and let them answer themselves!"

[I*C*E*Y]

Here comes the secret(s)...

Rainpetal rolled her eyes. "You two bicker like ladies." She grumbled, flashing an hidden, amused look in Bluewind's direction. "I wouldn't be surprised if one of you is carrying kits."

Bluewind's jaw slacked. "Wait, what?" She meowed, raising an eyebrow curiously at her sister. "You're carrying kits?"

The gray she-cat's eyes bugged out. "N-n-no," she stuttered. "Well, yes, but I didn't mean for that to slip out just yet. I wanted to tell everyone at the same time."

Her sister's blue eyes glimmered. "Congratulations!" She purred, butting her sister in the side with her head. "That's great! I'm going to be an aunt!" Bluewind was practically jumping with excitement.

[shiningheart]

Flarespark gaped. He gaped widely. Like, if the laws of physics didn't exist, his jaw would have hit the ground. Then he hyperventilated. He knew they'd been talking about kits, but he didn't know they'd be coming so soon! 'Oh StarClan. Oh StarClan. Oh StarClan...' He thought the two word sentence before it became a manta in his head.

Ripplestream tilted his head and poked Flarespark on the shoulder. The ginger tabby didn't react. "I think you broke him, Rainpetal." he meowed casually with a growing grin.

That's when the flood broke. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE EXPECTING KITS?!" Flarespark demanded. "Am I the father? Who's the father? Are you cheating on me, Rainpetal?!" By this point, Ripplestream very nearly broke a rib trying not to laugh. Flarespark spun on him, glaring. "And you! Stop laughing! It's not funny! Unless you know something I should know about! Huh?! ARE YOU THE FATHER?!"

Ripplestream gulped down his laughter and said, with the straightest face he could, "No, but I suggest you either apologize profusely or run for your life. Rainpetal looks like she's about to blow."

[I*C*E*Y]

Rainpetal's left eye twitched. She stood, completely frozen, her face unreadable.

However, as someone who'd watched Rainpetal through her expressions over the years, Bluewind could easily tell when her sister was going to implode from: anger, embarrassment, or happiness.

At the moment, it was probably embarrassment that Flarespark had actually just yowled that throughout the entire RiverClan camp.

And then Ripplestream quipped some sarcastic comment, and Bluewind knew they were both dead where they stood.

Hoping to diffuse some of her sister's anger towards the two toms, Bluewind slid easily in front of them and with her tail, began to gently ease the two toms back a couple of steps. "Now, Rainpetal, you know they didn't think before they spoke. They're toms. We both know the gender; they're moronic at times." She tossed a stiff glare over her shoulder toward Flarespark and Ripplestream.

Rainpetal sighed, and it seemed as though she was giving up. But then... "HOW DARE YOU THINK I WOULD CHEAT ON YOU, YOU IMBECILE! I'VE BEEN SKIMPED AND GIPPED MY ENTIRE LIFE, LIED TO AND ABANDONED (at this point, she was looking at her sister too) AND SHE HAS TOO AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING ON YOU WITH RIPPLESTREAM? NO OFFENSE, BUT HE'S THE LAST CAT I WOULD CHEAT ON YOU WITH BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HE'S GOT THIS GIANORMUS HUGE BIG FAT ELEPHANT CRUSH ON BLUEWIND AND SHE AT LEAST DESERVES SOME LOVE IN LIFE AND FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE I LOVE YOU AND I WOULDN'T DO THAT EVEN THOUGH MY DAD LEFT ME AND MY MOM LEFT BLUEWIND AND I WOULDN'T LEAVE OUR KITS WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS."

Major pause. Bluewind took a step forward. Cats around them looked horrified.

And then Rainpetal shrugged. "Sorry." She meowed. "Hormones."

[shiningheart]

The two toms surprisingly backed up obediently when Bluewind motioned them away. Now that the shock had passed, Flarespark realized just how much danger his freak-out had put them in. He didn't even speak up when Bluewind insulted their gender, because at the moment he really did deserve it.

Then Rainpetal started yelling. Flarespark's ears pressed against his head and he crouched where he stood, wishing really, really hard that she'd either not yell so loudly or that she wouldn't jump on him. He almost smiled when she said she loved him, but knew better than to incite her wrath even more. He knew she loved him, but it was still nice to hear her say it.

Then she took a deep breath, calming down. When it seemed like Rainpetal wasn't going to blow up again, Flarespark turned to Ripplestream, who was also crouched next to him, and whispered loudly, "What's an elephant?"

[I*C*E*Y]

What happened to the big fat crush on me??

Ignoring the rest of the clan and her friends, Rainpetal padded innocently over to the fresh kill pile, selected a mouuse and brought it back over to the three cats. "Okay, back to talking," she mewed. "Yes, Flarespark, they're yours, you dummy. Ripplestream, no offense. Bluewind, let the guys have it all next time."

Bluewind dipped her head. "Sure thing."

"Now, Ripplestream," Rainpetal swung her head towards him. "Until I have to move into the stupid nursery, I expect to be put on patrols. I just talked to what'sherface today about my kits, so I've got a while."

Her sister opened her mouth. "But I wouldn't suggest anything too extensive." She prodded Rainpetal's hip. "Because these will start to weaken with the weight of your abdomen going towards the floor."

"Gee, thanks." The gray she-cat mumbled through a mouthful of mouse. "I already knew I'd get fat."

Bluewind shot a look at Flarespark that clearly said, I'm sorry for your luck, and she shook her head. "You're not fat, never have been, never will be. Only during your pregnancy."

Curiously, Rainpetal glanced up. "How do you know so much about pregnancies?"

"Shard had a couple million conquests." Bluewind stated simply, glancing down at her paws.