//I Can't Stop Thinking// {OPEN}

[Fallingstar]

A strong shoulder brushed a strand of bracken out of the medicine cat's way. Spottedsky flicked her muzzle, hoping to shed most of the moisture that had rubbed off on her maw from the grasses. Yet maybe the involuntary action was trying to ward off more than one thing. No. Its just bracken. Not... him. Get a grip. Warding off the dark memory, Spottedsky let her mind wander to other topics. Rain. Sometimes it felt like New-Leaf rain never stopped. Especially to Spottedsky. She didn't mind the wetness at all, it was just the many complaining elders that nagged her for herbs to take the edge off of their aching joints. The medicine cat was out and staling through the undergrowth, searching for just the herb to lessen the elders pain.

The rain also brought back some of the bouts of white cough that Spottedsky thought she was rid of. But, the work of a medicine cat is never done. And no one knew that quite like Spottedsky. Some days she thought it was just peachy that the cats of the clan chose the worst time to catch a cold.Making a mental note to send Larkpaw out for more catmint when she returned to camp, Spottedsky continued to weave though the foliage.

Suddenly a crack of a twig made Spottedsky almost sprain a muscle from her reaction of snapping her head toward the sound. Her hears swiveled forward, hoping to catch a wisp of sound that might let her identify the intruder. Her previous warrior training started to kick in as she tensed her muscles, the fact that Medicine Cats are allowed almost anywhere long forgotten from her mind.

[namosaga]

Moonpaw needed to get out and think, that's all.

He had walked out of the Riverclan camp once all of his duties had been fulfilled, but he just couldn't stay there. There was nothing truly wrong. This silver apprentice just liked being to himself. After all, it was a nice day. The ground was still moist and the leaves held water from the rain that fell the night before, giving him a nice feeling when the liquid would stick to his pelt.

If I wasn't in a river, the apprentice thought, this would be the next best thing.

Slowly his mind traveled to his sister. They used to be so close to each other as kits, and now the apprentice training seemed to be tearing them apart. In fact, it was an argument that had set him walking. She had called him a know-it-all, saying he was acting like he was the best cat in the clan, and he was just trying to show off.

"I didn't mean to sound that way," he sighed, stopping his walking. "I just want her to be the best she can be. My sister... she's my only friend. I only try to help her. But maybe I am a snotty, mouse-brained know-it-all."

He sighed, before taking in a deep breath... and that's when he noticed the strange scent. His ears flattened against his head and his tail lashed. How could he have been so stupid.

He was right at the edge of Shadowclan's and Riverclan's territories!

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[Fallingstar]

Spottedsky's nostrils flared. A strange scent filled her nose, causing her to gag slightly. Fishy. Literally fishy. A smell of fish was permeating through the air and stinking up the air. Flattening her ears on top of her head, the medicine cat dropped into a crouch. Such movement was unnecessary, yet, instincts willed her knees to buckle and bring her belly close to the ground. He tongue flicked out of her mouth and attempted to identify the opposing cat. Defiantly RiverClan, well, what other kind of cat do you expect at the RiverClan border? It's not like WindClan cats lurked where the fish-breathed cats hunted.

The medicine cat shook herself slightly. No. She thought to herself. You must release your warrior instincts, there is no need of them now. While Spottedsky battled with conflicting instincts, she could almost feel eyes searching through the undergrowth that surrounded her. She felt her hackles raise up instinctively, yet she forced them down. The medicine cat had every right to be there. And as long at the other cat wasn't loitering, they had every right to their area too.

Making up her mind, Spottedsky flicked her tail and rose. She stood tall and proud and stepped out of the bush. The medicine cat didn't know where the other cat's line of vision was and, frankly, at the moment she didn't care. Let them oppose her. She was a medicine cat.

[namosaga]

With a rustling noise, Moonpaw turned his silver head to see a Shadowclan cat appearing out of the bushes. His fur started to bristle as his bushy tail fluffed up even more, and a hiss almost escaped his throat. His claws instinctively reacted, unsheathing themselves and getting ready for a fight, even if the other cat was larger.

No, Moonpaw, he scolded himself. They are still on their territory, and if anything, you're the one who crossed over.

Taking a moment, Moonpaw let out a calming breath, closing his eyes and trying to let his fur lie flat. Once he opened his muddy brown orbs, he turned his head to the cat standing in front of him. He dipped his head.

"I'm sorry," I said to the older she-cat. "I didn't mean to cross over the border. I was just lost in thought," his voice echoed slightly with the sadness he felt from before. Slowly he backed up a few paces until he was barely over on his side of the border, but yet he didn't walk away. If this cat was going to make him pay, as most of the warriors told him he'd have to do as a kit if he crossed a border, then he wouldn't run away.

[Fallingstar]

It was all Spottedsky could do not to paw at her nose. Even from about three or four fox-lengths away, she could still smell the RiverClan cat. Yet, she decided to stick to her polite side and not make any snide remarks. After all, she was supposed to be mellowing out. Yet, what fun was being grown when you couldn't be childish from time to time? Spottedsky decided to shove that thought into the dark recesses of her mind so something didn't slip out her gob.

Spottedsky could see the cat from her vantage point. He was a silver tom, probably in his apprentice moons. He had dark stripes at random over his body and markings on his face. He seemed fine enough. Not like some of those snide RiverClanners that mock every other cat they see. The medicine cat decided that she might be able to tolerate this tom when she saw him back up respectively. She flicked a now-raised ear. How strange. An actual respectful RiverClan cat. Just her luck to stumble upon the only one of his kind.

Deciding to keep the rude remarks to herself, Spottedsky lent an ear to the tom. "I'm sorry," I said to the older she-cat. "I didn't mean to cross over the border. I was just lost in thought." The medicine cat tilted her head slightly. She could feel the sadness resonating from the cat. Not only that, it practically echoed her thoughts.

"Doesn't matter." She mewed. Spottedsky was surprised at her own voice. She imagined it would come out scruffy but instead it came out soft and slightly curious. Why was she drawn to this tom?

And before she could help herself; "What's your name, lad?"

[namosaga]

Moonpaw pondered for a second. What hard could giving his name to this cat be? If he was to not give his name, it would be rude, but it could save his cover. Yet, this cat wasn't particularly mean to him. It was unlike how his clan had made Shadowclan look: flea-bitten, fox-smelling excuses of cats. Besides, if she wanted to get him in trouble, she probably would have gone after him without a second thought. It was decided.

"My name is Moonpaw," the grey tom lifted his head, flicking his ear neutrally. "And in return, may I ask for yours?"

[Fallingstar]

"My name is Moonpaw."

"Fitting enough." Spottedsky muttered slightly, as if to herself. She ran her gaze up and down the length of Moonpaw's body again. Extremely fitting. His silver fur gleamed like a brand of moonlight in the sun.

"And in return, may I ask for yours?"

Sophisticated enough. Spottedsky thought. Maybe she would change her mind about RiverClan. Well, at least some of the clan. This apprentice might be well mannered but that didn't mean that his fellows were. After flicking her ears slightly, Spottedsky raised her leaf-colored eyes to Moonpaw's brown ones. "My name is Spottedsky." She replied evenly. "The medicine cat of ShadowClan." Spottedsky didn't intend to intimidate the youngster, yet, he asked for her name. Why not give him the whole sha-bang?

"Any-who," she continued. "Names are fancy enough." Spottedsky waited for Moonpaw's reply, green eyes glittering.

[namosaga]

Moonpaw's eyes widened for a split moment before changing back into what the twolegs called a 'poker face'. He continued with the formality, to avoid any positive and negative emotions that might form. After all, it was unwise to form any kind of relationship with an individual from the wrong clan, unless it was for the right purpose.

He replied, "Spottedsky. A very fitting name for a very kind cat." He listened to her words a bit longer. For a few moments the area was silent. Moonpaw had never had a conversation last longer than this. It was the formalities, then he and whoever he was talking to would split ways. Unless it was Mossypaw.

Oh, Mossypaw, he thought with a sad sigh escaping his lips.

Slowly he gathered his senses and looked at the female, the awkward silence still holding in the air. Yet he didn't feel like it was the right time to leave. At least, not yet. After a while he decided he had to say something.

"So what are you doing out here, if you don't mind me asking," He asked awkwardly, not sure how to start a real conversation.

[Fallingstar]

"Spottedsky. A very fitting name for a very kind cat."

Spottedsky cocked her head to the side, not caring what emotions she showed the apprentice. No cat had ever called her a 'very kind cat.' Well, she was sure that it had happened sometime but it had never been truly heartfelt. Just a weary 'thank you' was about as much verbal appreciation she received from her clanmates. Most of the time just before they conked out because of her poppy seeds. Either way, she knew that appreciation was appreciation. It wasn't like they would build a monument for her, there were much greater cats.

Shaking off the memories like pestering cobwebs stuck to her fur, Spottedsky dipped her head slightly in thanks. Though this apprentice might be slightly inferior to her, why not treat him kindly? She answered the rhetorical question herself with her actions.

Yet, there was something different about this cat. Almost as though a shroud of sadness had enveloped him. Now, thought Spottedsky. One of his age shouldn't be burdened like that. She felt like comforting him somehow, yet, she knew that questions would be asked if she came home with RiverClan stench all over her pelt. The medicine cat decided to keep her distance.

The awkward moments ticked away silently until... "So what are you doing out here, if you don't mind me asking."

"Herb gathering," Spottedsky mewed, slightly relieved to have the burden of silence lifted. my, my, she felt somewhat like an apprentice herself. "This is the best place for the kind I'm looking for." She nodded at the slightly damp area. "Plants grow well here, plenty of light and all the cat scent keeps the rabbits away."

She thought for a moment, then; "Such pleasantries aside..." She thought again, coming to the bigger question. "Why are you here? Medicine cats are acceptable at the borders, yet, why did the paws of a wandering apprentice bring him here?" The medicine cat attempted to put one of her more pleasant faces on. No use scaring the younger one.

[namosaga]

"Why are you here? Medicine cats are acceptable at the borders, yet, why did the paws of a wandering apprentice bring him here?"

Moonpaw thought about avoiding the question, but he knew he couldn't walk away without causing some sort of trouble. Besides, as much as he didn't want to, he needed to talk to someone. Normally, when Moonpaw needed someone to talk to, his sister was more than enough. He would talk to her, and she would comfort him, and vise versa when it came to it. But now, she couldn't. Not when she was mad at him.

With a sigh he sat down, reluctant to be telling someone. He never liked strangers, even in his own clan. "I guess I owe you an explanation. After all, I should have been paying attention."

"I was just lost in thought, sorting things out. Long story short, I was hanging out with my sister, Mossypaw. She told me how her day went, and I listened as usual. Conversations changed, and this turned into that, and I guess I said something I shouldn't of." he sighed.

"I was trying to give my sister advice on how to fix what she did wrong while hunting, and she got angry. She told me that maybe her mentor was right in saying that I was a mouse-brained know-it-all. She yelled at me, saying I was only trying to make her look bad so that I could come out on top. So that I could be the clan's best cat." He turned his head away, trying to hide the pained expression on it. "I don't mean to be a know-it-all. I never meant to sound like I was showing off. I just observed the other apprentices, put two-and-two together, and tried to help her so that she could do things the first try; after all, she loves it when she does things first try. I tried to help her. After all, I love my sister very much. She's my only friend. I don't care if I never become a warrior, as long as she becomes the best she can be, I'll be happy."

"I just don't understand how we could have separated so much as apprentices. She started spending more time with the others, and less time with me. Not to mention, a lot of our time ends in arguments." He looked up to what he could see of the sky. "I feel like I'm losing her."

His attention turned once more to the Shadowclan medicine cat, his poker face back on and his eyes the only thing showing emotion. "Sorry. I didn't mean to ramble. I just don't have anyone else. I never needed anyone else. But with Mossypaw so distant..." He trailed off.

[Fallingstar]

Spottedsky listened intently to the young apprentice as he recited his story. She hadn't hoped for such a lengthy response, she thought that it may even be pushing it to ask the fellow. Well, she listened with a growing sense of companionship with this cat that she didn't exactly welcome. Yet, she could almost feel part of her life story, perhaps diluted a bit, spilling from the apprentice's jaws. Spottedsky could tell that once he stared, he couldn't stop. Like the flow of a river recently unblocked.

When Moonpaw finally shut his mouth, Spottedsky could see a slight flash of regret cross his face. She knew that she wasn't his first choice to ramble to, yet, giving the evidence, his number one cat to rant to was the one he needed to rant about.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to ramble. I just don't have anyone else. I never needed anyone else. But with Mossypaw so distant..."

The medicine cat felt slightly foolish for the waves of sympathy she was sure were flowing from her soul. She wouldn't be surprised if Moonpaw could feel them. Though she didn't want to appear too open with this apprentice, Spottedsky decided to share a bit of advice with this tom.

"Listen, lad, for starters you can go and forgive yourself. Maybe you should just give your sister a bit of room." Spottedsky knew from experience that siblings would need distance during their apprentice moons. This was when they changed the most and when they wanted to make a new them. "Don't worry. Maybe you should apologies. That always seems to make things better. If it works with clan leaders, it should work with apprentices." She murmured good-naturally. She had in fact had a slight spat with the clan leader in her earlier moons. Yet, she wished not to bring the drama back right now. "And, trust me on this, the ones you love are never really distant from you as long they are in your waking world." Spottedsky felt a thorn of sadness spike her heart momentarily. "Life is too short. Live the life you have. Love and be loved."

[namosaga]

Moonpaw listened intently to the advice that the medicine cat was giving to him. It seemed like good advice, and it kind of made him feel stupid for not thinking of it before. But seeing how he managed to cross into Shadowclan territory on accident, it didn't seem like thinking was even possible. After a quick silence, the silver apprentice nodded to himself.

"Thank you, Spottedsky, for your advice," he let out a sincere smile, which was rare and didn't happen, not even to his own clanmates. His voice was joking and friendly, almost a laugh. "And thanks for putting up with my story. I know a Shadowclanner wouldn't want to put up with young, nasty fish-breath over here, huh?"

Slowly, he got up from his sitting position, giving his face a quick wash, before turning around. But before he took two steps, he turned his head to look at the Shadowclan medicine cat. "You know, they say that Shadowclanners are fox-hearts. But after talking to you, I have to disagree. You may be the friendliest cats I have met so far. And you can put up with fish-stink."

He turned back around to the direction of his Riverclan home, but didn't walk off just yet. Instead, he said one last thing. "Spottedsky. It really is fitting for such a kind soul. I hope that if we meet again, it will be in peace and not in bloodshed." And with that, he walked back to the Riverclan camp. He decided that he would give his sister some space, and come to her when they both were ready to forgive.

[Exit Moonpaw]

[Fallingstar]

"Thank you, Spottedsky, for your advice."

Spottedsky inclined her head ever so slightly, then felt her mouth quirk at the tom's second remark. What an individual this cat was. A RiverClan cat mocking his own stink? That was a first in all Spottedsky's moons. Then there was a slight stretch of silence. Not uncomfortable silence, yet, contented silence in which both cat took to swipe their tongues over their fur a few times. Then:

"You know, they say that Shadowclanners are fox-hearts. But after talking to you, I have to disagree. You may be the friendliest cats I have met so far. And you can put up with fish-stink."

The medicine cat felt her quirky smile slowly fade. Though the comment was light in heart, Spottedsky felt it lodge somewhere deep in her heart. It was no longer a quick remark made by a young apprentice, it was a true compliment. Something that some cats might just take for granted. Yet, Spottedsky knew better than that. She would treasure this string of words. Cling to them and reflect on them. For once in her life, Spottedsky felt like reaching much further across the borders than even medicine cats dared. She held on to the feeling. Then only one word could seem to explain it.

Motherly.

It was a maternal feeling that Spottedsky had never felt before. And she cherished it.

The medicine cat then allowed a small, slightly crooked yet nonetheless friendly smile to spread her lips. Spottedsky again dipped her head.

"Spottedsky. It really is fitting for such a kind soul. I hope that if we meet again, it will be in peace and not in bloodshed."

Spottedsky watched with a slightly rueful glint in her eye as Moonpaw stood slowly and turned. "Until next time, Moonpaw." She called softly, her voice carrying on the wind. Because she knew there would be a next time. But that was just medicine cat stuff that is almost unexplainable. Maybe it's just a tug in the heart that can be interpreted a million ways.

The medicine cat glanced down at her paws, white and slightly gray with wetness. She then raised her gaze that finally came to rest upon a certain plant. Just what she needed. Spottedsky then strode forward to the plant. Might as well get what she came for. Though, even cranky elders couldn't ruin the rest of her day now.